BEHAVIOR AT SCHOOL
Dear Dr.Bear,
My husband and I are dealing with a problem involving my daughter, who is 3 1/2. In the past month we have been getting feedback from her caregivers that she is not listening well, and we have been working with her so she understands what listening is and hope that she improves on a day-to-day basis. However, beginning last week, she started to become violent with her classmates and teachers. She has hit, kicked her classmates and teachers, and would just seem out of control, to where the teachers must put her in a room where she is safe from hurting others and herself. Today was the second instance of this taking place, and combined with her listening problems, my husband and I are very concerned. She went through a period of hitting at 2, but seems to have put that behind her until now. We discuss how we don't hit, we hug, and that it's wrong, and we know she understands, but something inside her is causing her to lash out impulsively. I believe that she lacks self-control. There have been no major stresses in her life from what I can tell -- no deaths, no divorces, no fights between me and my husband. We are very loving and cheerful and nurturing. That is why this is worrying us so much - we can't pinpoint the cause. Her caregivers have all but given up and we are extremely worried about her. We were thinking that the best avenue now is to see a pediatrician for a physical checkup, and possibly get referred to a child therapist if that is deemed necessary.
Sincerely,
Wit’s End
Dear Wit’s End,
I think you are on the right track, and should bring her into the office to see an experienced pediatrician. You should schedule an appointment soon and take a copy of this and write a chronology of everything you can think of since birth which could be of importance- birth, care givers, family events, school, church activities etc. I would also have the caregivers write out their own confidential observations and comments. You need good support and advice and possibly additional counseling services if they are indicated. Good luck.
Sincerely,
Dr. Bear
